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Mandy

Saturday, September 29, 2012

My Husband vs. My Girl



Having been married for eight years, I can still remember the day my ex-husband proposed to me.  It was a Sunday afternoon at church and I was surrounded by friends and family.  Given the fact that my husband to be was the pastor of the church, the proposal was a day that we all were destined to remember.  I was so thrilled to tell my best girlfriends the big news…..I’M GETTING MARRIED!  I’m sure we all can agree that that’s some of the most exciting news to share with your GIRLS.  Although, it is a magical time in a woman’s life, several changes come along with the news.  Having a man in your life takes up a lot of your free time leaving us to deal with one topic in particular; how do we juggle our social life now that we are married?  Do we involve more married couples into our social lives as a couple or should we continue to intermingle with our single girlfriends the majority of the time as though nothing has changed?   And how do we handle bringing and assisting our husbands into accepting our GIRLS?  And most importantly what happens when your husband and your girl just don’t see eye to eye? Of course standing by your man is something you have now vowed to do, but you can’t over look the fact that your girl has been there through many years of laughter, tears, and ups and downs. 
 
From my point of view I believe that the resolution depends on the bond that real girls should have with one another.  Most likely you have shared most of your live secrets with your girl therefore, it is probable that you have shared your low points concerning your man, whether it was infidelity, his lack of income, or his resistant towards affection that type of discussion can lead to built up animosity within your girl.  Nevertheless, from her point of view he doesn’t deserve you and perhaps this is the case or maybe it’s not!  And as it relate to your husband, your girlfriend is conceivably overstepping her boundaries, which is possibly true.  But as I look at it all the solution resides in you!
 
Sharing too much information with your girl regarding your man can be like sharing too much information with your mother.  There are some things that are just between a husband and a wife, unless you really need your girlfriend to help you find your way out when you are 100% certain that your marriage is over.  Also, keep in mind that you must convey to her that her personal thoughts regarding your man out of respect for you should be an emotion that she keep to herself unless it is crucial that you are made aware of a situation.  Also, discuss with your husband that you were an adult and capable of choosing your own friends prior to the marriage, and that if he selected you to be his wife he must trust you in every aspect and that you are quite capable of keeping a healthy balance.
Remember we are creatures that keep evolving and as time process be committed to growing spiritually.  Life never stays the same therefore, the make-up of friendship is subject to same, the concepts of marriage will change and YOU are going to change!  Stay true to yourself and teach everyone how to LOVE YOU!
Love Ya,
Mandy

 

 

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