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Never Judge A Book or a Man by the Cover

Many times as adults we find ourselves in compromising and unhealthy relationships due to own insecurities.  Most of these uncertainties come from our childhood and some stem from previous relationships.  Nevertheless, we are faced with discovering ways and strategies to change our circumstances.  In the quest to find a healthy place for myself I discovered some things that made me fall victim to the ill will of some of the men who have crossed my path.  I also became aware of several ways to combat these types of situations from repeating themselves.  Therefore, I am willing to share to perhaps to help someone else.

As it relates to ending up on the wrong side of love I learned that I suffered from the need to belong to someone at any cost.  In addition, my fear of being alone clouded my ability to use common sense and miss red flags that were clearly visible and detectable.  Therefore, as I yearned to be healed from these types of poisonous relationships I was faced to accept my own responsibilities!  Confessing one's areas of need and/or lack can be beneficial in starting your road to recovery.  Therefore, my main strategy was to seek help from others who were strong in the areas I needed help.  I learned to do things opposite from what my natural instincts would normally lead me to do.  I've learned the need to seek more wisdom and discernment when faced with new suitors.  But, the biggest responsibility that I have learned is to "never judge a book or a man by it's cover".  Taking one's time when getting to know someone new requires an enormous amount of time.  Within this probationary time meeting his friends/family and really listening to them will reveal the untold story of a person's life.  Listening does not only require one sense of just physical listening, but it also means discovering how their friends interact in various areas of his life.  For instance would they be willing to recommend him for a job, could they call on him if they were in a financial crisis, etc.  Yes, ladies ensuring that you have what you would consider a "good man" involves doing you homework!  Obtaining an undergraduate degree takes four years and the final outcome should lead to a better quality of life.  Nevertheless, I'm not saying it will take four years to get to know your "Mr. Right" but I am conveying the message that there are several courses one should pass before you decide to Major in love with him!

Therefore, if you currently find yourself in a relationship that is not worth majoring in be REAL when you observe the pros and the cons of your interaction with him.  Do not LIE to yourself or try to make someone be something that they are not. Start imaging your life with the type of man you are desiring and create a plan on how to recognize him once he cross your path.  Give out positive energy and God your Creator will make certain that you meet him, according to your FAITH!  And while doing those things, get over that current loser while you are with him which can be done putting yourself first!  Stop meeting his needs and/or demands (don't enable his behavior).  Just recognize the lack of interest he has in meeting your needs and/or demands.  Finally, make a solid decision on ending it  and when you are ready EXECUTE!  GIVE HIM THE BOOT......Now he's gone and you GOOD!!!


  1. Sister Expression!! Gotta love it! For everyone that really knows me has witnessed my trials and tribulations. I am the first to say i am guilty as charged as not taking the time to go through the courses as you say, before moving on with the Major. This is good, please keep it coming!!!!

    1. Sara:
      Thank you for your comments and for being open...I believe that it is through our transparency we as well as others are made better....God loves u & so do I!


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